I'll Carry On

(Edit)

2007-12-20T05:26:00.000-08:00

Even though it's erm, rather late. (Understatement.)

Anyway, to tie up loose ends:

In case anyone didn't realise, when I typed Goodbye in the previous post, I meant Goodbye; as in: Farewell, Blog, I shall not post here henceforth.

On another note, I seem to be missing everything.

First came the ONE-DAY-ONLY My Chemical Romance concert, which so happened to fall on MY BIRTHDAY.

WHY DIDN'T I GO?! (Please let them come again next year! PLEASE; WITH CHOCOLATE CHIPS AND CHOCOLATE FUDGE AND CHOCOLATE POP-TARTS ON TOP!)

Xinyi tells me that Simple Plan came while I was away at Tianjin for the exchange programme as well.

Joy.

And now I stare in envy at the videos of the MCR concert on youtube, reminiscing the Memories Not Mine.

That's the way it goes.

Oh well, to bring this to a more proper ending, here's a poem which I wrote when I was twelve. (Random? Not really actually,)
------------------------------
Our Friendship; As I knew It

We were once united
And then
Our Friendship faded into memories.

As each day passes
The shattered trust we once held in each other
Becomes so difficult to mend.

Split up
Into alternate universes, in spirit
Yet passing each other everyday
We were friends
Once upon a time
Why did it have to turn out this way?

Do I know you, stranger?
Yes, I think I do
You're that girl
That memory
Tucked away--
That wonderful friend I once knew

So close,
Yet so far
What a familiar line.

And yet
Ironically, used in truth,
All too aptly this time.

But that's just Life.
Isn't it?
Always full of clichés.

Reality, like a slap across my face
Seems so harsh,
So cold.

Illusions of a brighter future
The sweetest lies
Life ever told.

Distant figures sharing a cherished past
But the present has Metamorphosed
Many a Personality.

Maybe 'tis our Fate not to remain as we were
But you will remain dear to me forever, my friend.
As we used to be.
---------------------------
That's where the url came from, in case you haven't noticed.

I won't be taking the blog down. For sentiment.
------------------------------
So here, I mark the close of one part of my existence (which coincidentally marks my first year in NJ as well).

But with every end comes a beginning; or so They say.

(They seem to make sense most of the time.)

And so I bid you Aidieu, at my Fifty-seventh post.

Once again, as MCR has it;
Your Memory will Carry On.

This

2007-11-08T05:51:00.000-08:00

It's goodbye, I guess; or at least this is the normal way to put it.

Though I don't really see the Good in it.
--------------------------------
I've deleted my fictionpress story.

I'm really grateful to those people who reviewed and made my day by encouraging me to continue, but I've decided to stop.
--------------------------------
Don't ask me why.

(Don't worry though, I'm not going to turn suicidal or homicidal; or anything of that sort.)

-Your Memory Will Carry On

Shoutouts give you that warm, fluttery and sweet feeling.

2007-11-05T23:49:00.000-08:00

Everytime I read them I'll start 'Aww'-ing.

Mentally, of course. Or my sister and mum'd send me for counselling sessions for mentally disturbed individuals.

ANYWAY, ( I absolutely canNOT stand people who add an 's' behind 'anyway'. 'Anyway' has had, has, and will have no plural.)

As I was saying (er, typing), here's a response to shuliet's round of shoutouts.

By alphabetical order;

JUICY, JIGGLY JOAN
Messy-and-fast-eating SHIFU! I miss you so much! (Even if Zizhao's gonna kill me later, I shall just say it!) Haha, without you, there's no one left to believe my GEYLAAANG prank; and no one to tease and disturb. And we can't gang up on Mingjie the Paedo to tease her about her tiantian and fengfeng. I HOPE YOU'RE STILL TAKING YOUR STD-STOPPER PILLS! I miss your ho-ho-ho laughter. Your OCD cleanliness; your sweet, patient, loving, generous, mother-potential self! Love you, Mrs Joan Wang, you drama-pro! (ZIZHAO, DON'T KILL ME, SHE'S ALL YOURS.)

MINI, MICROSCOPIC, MIDGET MINGJIE!
HELLO PAEDOPHILE! Haha, you and your bow-pulling. And you still refuse to bend when we cross the bar on the way to the parade square for assembly! Don't you know bending helps you GROW TALLER? Look at everyone else in our class! WE'RE ALL TALL! Hahaha. But NEVERMIND. Your height is JUST RIGHT for your tiantian and fengfeng, because you and shuhui both say that you need your guy to be the right height for kissing. I guess that'll be okay for you and your tiantian, then. SMARTIE-PANTS la you. And always say the wrong thing at the wrong time, haha. You're SO CUTE! (Borrowing words from a paedophile aka, YOU). And SMART too! (Except when it comes to betting about your GPA) 8D

SILENTLY SEDUCTIVE SHUHUI!
SHULIET, MY LOVE! TRICIA THE TYRANT SHALL NOT COME BETWEEN US! Haha, and my other loves are chocolate, Mr Darcy and Edward Cullen. But NONE SHALL COME BETWEEN US! ( I'm STRAIGHT! I didn't say anything before this!) 8) SHULIEEET! You're PRETTY OKAY! And you're tall, and dance SEDUCTIVELY, and SMART. You're LOSING WEIGHT TOO LA! Oh, and you DANCE BALLET too! I want to DANCE! Oh, and precipitato means hasty, according to altavista babelfish. Ack. Nevermind, we shall improve our chinese and mandarin during the tianjin trip, aye? 8D

SEXILY-SCANTY SHUWEI!
PRETTY WOMAN! Hahaha, your 'SHUWEI is beautiful' and 'Beauty(Shuwei) in Asia' Photographs crack me up everytime! Fashion guru! (Just not on me 8)) YOU GOT THE HIGHEST IN IH! SMARTY-WARTY! (Arrgh, all the smart people make me look stupid. Haha) And your induction dance was SIZZLY! Haha; SIZZLY SEXY SHUWEI! You and your crazy outbursts. The milk-holding ahembraahem. Or was that Vera? And your DUSTBIN and Erica and Victoria scandalous things! YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN PASS OFF A SIXTEEN ANY DAY LA. Thanks for teaching Shuliet and me the induction dance. (even if I can't remember the steps or do it properly. Heh) YOU'RE THE ONE; MRS TAI (WAN).

(TINY?)TYRANT TRICIA!
Ex-PARTNER! I miss sitting next to you! Haha, you'd always suddenly call my name for no reason; the same way I'd burst into song, and you'd join along! (Hey, that rhymed!) AND I MISS WRITING HORRIBLE POETRY TO SHULIET AND VERA TOGETHER WITH YOU! YOU GOT THE A'S TOO, YOU IRRITATING PERSON! Why do you always try to steal zizhao from joan? And Shuliet from me? No wait, I shall now give way to Quang and Shuhui! Haha. DON'T DO ANYTHING FUNNY TO ME IN OUR ROOM IN TIANJIN OKAY! Must tell me all the gossip at night! <3 Roomie!

VERY VERTICALLY-CHALLENGED VERA!
(THAT WAS COINED BY MINGJIE! KILL HER, NOT ME!) Haha. You, smart-dancer you, whose ahemboobiesahem are better than pamela anderson's! You and mingjie are both so cute and amusing! And both of you have a rather high ahemsexdriveahem. Still waters run deep, I see. FELLOW EMO-CLUB WRITER! Your prose pieces are so sweetly-sad and beautiful! WRITE ROMANCES! And SPREAD the FICTIONPRESS LOVE! 8D

And Even Though

2007-11-03T05:54:00.000-07:00

You're childish
You cry at the smallest things
You're petty
You're a poser
You're irresponsible
You've a short attention span
You refuse to do your work properly
You're horrendously vain
You have bad fashion sense

I love you; because
You're sweet when you try to be nice to me
You're sweet when you try to defend me
You're sweet when you try to be like me; and look up to me even for all my retarded quirks

And because you're my sister.

You've finally completed your Primary School Education.
Welcome to teenage life; where reality hits, and clones, stereotypes and backstabbing take place.
But no matter what, always believe in yourself. Don't let anyone make you think that you have to be someone else.
Be original, be sincere.

Be yourself.
---------------------------------
EXAMS FOR THIS YEAR ARE FINALLY OVER.

DONE.

GONE.

FINALLY.

8)

-Round and round we go

OHMAN.

2007-10-31T00:09:00.000-07:00

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE IS COMING TO SINGAPORE ON MY BIRTHDAY.

THIS IS SO SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICAXPEALIDOSCIOUSLY COOL!

To quote the person in our E-Radio recording: AWESOME, DUDE!

Hahahahahaha.

To think of it, the only concerts I ever went to were SSO ones.

Just in case there are any doubts; I DO enjoy classical music.

In fact, I think the experience at a Classical Music Concert will be much more comfortable and relaxed than that of at an Alternative Rock one.

And if anyone's wondering whether or not I like MCR, I'd like to refer that person to the Institute of Mental Health.

To anyone who's going; please get me a concert T-shirt?

Yes? Rach will be wonderfully grateful.
----------------------------------
GPA coming out tomorrow.

Bleah. Shan't whine; but it's going to be HORRIBLE.

Gah, it's my fault for not studying whole-heartedly and instead reading Fictionpress, going on facebook and writing poems during the study period.

WORK HARDER, LAZY PIECE OF SCUM.
(Assuming that I'm not kicked out yet)
--------------------------------
Borrowed three books from the library today! 8)
---------------------------------
Looking forward to getting my elastics on, and going for the Tianjin trip.

-Thanks for the happiness

Breathing Life Into A Statue

2007-10-29T03:52:00.000-07:00

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/1743054/1/

Reading this has made me realised what a horrible person I've been.

Amid the romance plot of this ficlet, I realised that I'm actually quite as bitchy as the original Adrienne, albeit not as rich or spoilt.

Anyway, I should probably stop whining on my blog.

------------------------------------

Goals:

1) PULL UP MY GRADE-POINT AVERAGE.

2) Get A's for biology, chemistry and physics.

3) Maintain or improve on my maths. (Both modules)

4) Improve on my Chinese and Mandrin. (C+ or B if possible)

5) Be a nicer sister, friend and classmate.

6) Pass my ABRSM theory examinations. For this as well as next year. (Merit would be nice. Distinction would be perfect 8D)

7) Pass my ABRSM grade 8 piano examination in 2009. (Ditto)

8) Improve on my stamina and ball-skills. (Please let us be able to form a B-division team next year; I want to play!)

9) Start a band. (I MEAN IT. DRUMMER PLEASE!!!)

10) Stop stuffing myself with junk food and eating whenever I'm bored.

11) Revise Chemistry over the holidays

12) Revise Physics over the holidays

13) Practise M.I. over the holidays

14) Finish reading 'The Crucible' over the holidays

15) Lose 2kg over the holidays (dare I hope?)

-------------------------------------

[16) Learn to dance! Dancing is so graceful and expressive! (!!!) And passionate and flowy and artistic! Haha.]

But of course, this comes after, and IF AND ONLY IF, I pass my grade 8 piano practical and theory examinations.

----------------------------------

Keeping the Dream Alive

Bippity-Boppity-Boo

2007-10-26T07:01:00.000-07:00

Today was boring.

Aside from getting high with Joan, Mingjie (she was stoning, though) and Shuliet. And watching Miss Swan on youtube and listening to Joan's Bimbotic voice-part on the E-radio thing.

Oh, and Zachy-poo.

Hahahahaha.
------------------------
Grades turned out higher than I expected myself to get.

Mostly B's. One C. One A.

If I get a 3.0 GPA pr anything higher, I'll be happy.

But I still am pissed and frustrated at myself.

ARRGH.

I'm such an airhead.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Must get into a studying mood for the whole of next year.

No facebook, no fictionpress, and no runescape.

Retarded
Asanine
Careless
Hypocritical
Errant
Loser

That's what I call an Acrostic Poem.

Sore Throat.

2007-10-20T23:02:00.000-07:00

Bleah.

And what's more, my haircut's made me look like a cross between a bimbo and an ah-lian.

Grah. Now I sound like a man, and look like a bimbo-lian.

Wonderful crossdresser, aren't I?
-------------------------
Exam results coming up.

Drama, drama; here I come.

It's going to be a rather depressing affair.

MCR's hit the nail on its head.

Throw on the black dress; mix in with the lot
-------------------------
:/

SPIRE is death by doses.

2007-10-15T05:42:00.000-07:00

Haha, restless.

------------------

BELLE ONG YING LUN! I AM SOSOSOSOSOSOSO SORRY!

I DIDN'T MEAN TO MINUS SO MUCH FROM YOUR CREDITS!

Ack!!!

------------------------

Bleah. I'm gonna hate my exam results man.

Screwed.

I PROMISE THAT I WILL DO BETTER NEXT YEAR IF I GET 3.0 OR HIGHER GPA THIS YEAR. PLEASE DON'T KICK ME OUT OR SEND ME TO SEE ANYONE REGARDING MY GRADES.

Argh.

I semi-gave up halfway through assessment week, actually. (And resolved to do better next year) because I knew that my GPA's a lost cause.

Now, however, I don't even think I'll remain here next year.

Please, please; let there be a miracle :/

Okay. That wasn't my last post before the exams.

2007-10-06T00:23:00.000-07:00

So sue me.

:/
------------------
I'm pissed at you, in case you haven't noticed.
-------------------
I have realised that I'm quite fond of shooting down various unidentified 'you's on my blog.

No offence meant to any party out there. Just a way of letting people comprehend my feelings (if the correct person accurately interprets my rambling).

Quixotic Paroxysms of rage.
---------------------
How ironic.

You try to be unique, accepted, and liked; yet you try to make yourself seem apart and different.

Of course, everyone, myself included; desires to be accepted and liked, but unique.

But making yourself seem different and segregated; and mysterious, clearly screams your desperation for attention.

Wanting attention is normal. But you aren't lacking in attention.

You just revel in it.
You crave it.

I don't dislike an entire person based on a single aspect. I just dislike the Desperation of attention seekers.
---------------------
Gah.

I can't study.

I keep having this feeling that I'm not going to be able to get a minimum of an overall 3.0 GPA.

And I'm stressed, frustrated, angry, hysterical and hateful.

I need to vent everything.
----------------------
I still don't feel better.
-----------------------
I feel like crying.
---------------------
What I've not studied:
Biology: Nerves, Functions of the parts of the eye.

Chemistry: Acids and Bases, Moles, Minerals

Geography (I.S.): Everything.

History: Society, Origins of the Cold War.

Geography (I.H.): Everything.

Economics: PPF, Format of answer.

Physics: Everything.

A. Maths: Haven't practised.

E. Maths: Ditto.

Higher Chinese: Haven't revised structure of Yingyongwen.
------------------------
Wonderful.
-----------------
-Quixotic Paroxysms of Rage.

Just some Last Words

2007-10-04T05:58:00.000-07:00

Before the Dreaded Trial.

EMT week.

EOYs.

Assesment Week.

Judgement Week.

Whatever you call it.
-------------------------
A million years ago, in Primary Three, I constantly fared quite well in Chinese. Then I started reading English Classics at that age. The next year, my English improved and I started writing poems.

In Primary Six, I had collated my own portfolio of sorts (of English poetry and prose). As for my Chinese, I guess it was still of a reasonable standard. I memorised quite a number of yanyu and xiehouyu, and managed to get a merit in the Higher Chinese PSLE.

Then in Secondary school, my Chinese suddenly went down the gutter. I was reduced to semi-direct-english-translations in my chinese essays. I still spoke comprehensible mandrin (which I conversed in with my grandmother and cousins), but when it came to putting it down onto paper, my chinese seriously was horrible. I did try to improve; I even read three chinese novels of my own accord in Secondary Two, but somehow, when this year started, my failing grade indicated a lack of improvement.

Tuition didn't help. It only added to my homework load. So I wanted out; on the condition that I pulled my chinese grade up.

And I did. From a D to a C.

Then mid-year interims came. And my favourite enemy came along and bashed me in the face.

Speed.

And I Failed chinese. And a whole long list of other subjects.

I wanted to give up.

But when zenglaoshi came, she made special efforts to help the people who were weak in chinese. Cliched as it may sound, her encouragement and care inspired me to do better.

When she first arrived, one of the first assignments she gave us was to write an essay about a teacher we were thankful for.

恩师.

Zenglaoshi, if you're reading this;
你是我的恩师. Thank you.

Three days till the exams. (I haven't studied anything. Grrrrr. Stupid Rach! Die, you lazy, asanine, buffoon!)

I want to do well.
----------------------------

Blind, by Lifehouse

2007-10-02T03:06:00.000-07:00

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this why
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

After all this why
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
----------------
I just want to get away from all this
To be of no relation to everything.
Ironic, isn't it?
When all's calm comparatively, I want Out. And I didn't choose to be In in the first place, anyway.
It's my own Life. I know when to study; and when I choose to rest.
I'm not a machine.
I don't need you to control and complain about what I do.
I'm not going to do my thing according to how you're going to plan it for me.
Just because the way I do things coincide with the way you want them to be done up till now, doesn't mean that I've been following your plan for me.
This is my life. Live yours. Not mine.
And you; I want no relation with you at all.
Even if you're suddenly there. You're so fake.
You weren't there before. What's with it now?
------------------
Now I realise that it's all a fluke. This education path.
Everyone's vying to attain the best results, to get into a university, then higher qualification then everyone else.
By then, it will be the numbered few with the first class honours and doctorates who will get the better job positions.
Could have just taken a more specific path along the polytechnic route and gotten diplomas to get other jobs. But I didn't want to disappoint you and you.
But now, I don't care anyway.
I want to stay on because I can't let myself down.
----------------------------
From now on, I am me.
I'm going to be different.
I'm going to have reasons which contradict yours and yours.

From now on, I'm going to be a different me:
One that's not like you.

-The words come crashing upon me once again

Arrgh.

2007-09-30T05:51:00.000-07:00

Facebook is EVIL, I tell you.

It's stealing my concentration span away from me :/

I shall ban myself from facebook for two weeks until finals are over.

I CAN DO IT!

YES I CAN!
--------------------
I'm not studying :(
-------------------
Gypsies' Dance

Crimson; stark, against Immortal-white
Bathed beneath the pale moonlight
Within the clearing, gracefully move
In utter, urgent, ecstasy

Tonight, the gale breaks out in song
Of old wives' tales; and myths of long
Tonight, the pounding beats beckon
To gather round and dance

Get lost within the music's soul
Abandon for now your mortal role
Surrender all to this hounding instinct
And let yourself be overcome

Bells tinkle, as the fire glows
The ale runs more freely, while merriment grows
The night is young--why turn away?
Hesitate not; Just dance.
----------------------------
I think I'll stick to poetry. This one turned out better than "In The Rain".
-----------------------------
:/

In The Rain

2007-09-27T06:21:00.000-07:00

Blindly, I run, as the rain patters a forceful rhythm upon the pavement; casting a veil over everything, blocking out all sounds.

My clothes are soaked, my unkempt hair plastered to my face. Squinting into the distance, I scan the surroundings desperately for your silhouette.

My breathing takes on an uneven, ragged pattern, and fatigue threatens to smother me, but I resist; ignoring the aching of my legs while I stagger on.

Finally, I stop, for I realise that you're not there anymore.

Just as I turn back, however, I spot a lone figure by the light of the streetlamp in the park.

For a split-second, my breath hitches in my throat; and then I sprint into your arms.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, burying my face into your chest.

My voice cracks; and the tears start to flow.

Your arms form a protective cage around me, tender and gentle; but your body is tense.

Gradually, my sobs quieten. As I start to pull away, you break the silence.

"Look at me," You tell me, your voice low and trembling.

Raising my eyes to meet your gaze, I panic at its intensity and struggle to escape your gentle grip, but I find myself unable to move.

"Tell me that you don't love me."

Your guarded eyes imprison mine in a hard stare.

"I..." I begin shakily, but I falter.

Suddenly, the invisible fortress guarding the emotions behind your dark orbs dissipate; and a myriad of searing emotions leap out at me as you whisper tenderly.

“Tell me that you love me.”

Within me, conflicting and intertwined meanings bubble; yearning to be expressed. Yet, I am unable to identify the jumbled inferno, and the staccato of my pulse speeds up erratically.

With each passing second, your stare bores deeper into me, and the tension builds as my breathing becomes laboured.

"Please," My voice comes out broken. "Stop doing this to me...I…can't,"

For a moment, I see the immeasurable hurt and blinding agony flash across your face. But it is replaced with a blank expression of arrogance just as quickly, and your lips twitch into a bitter smirk.

Wordlessly, you release me and stride away.

In the distance, the shattering of glass sounds above the pattering rain.

And I see the broken glass on the ground clearly; like the million tiny shards of my heart.
-----------------------------
Inspired by Vera, Swish, and fictionpress romances.

Not a very accomplished piece. I'm quite disappointed on how this turned out. But oh well. It matches my mood.

Dreary and...disappointed.

In dampened spirits we sing

When September Ends

2007-09-19T02:41:00.000-07:00

I'm going to die; figuratively, of course.

My academics are going down the gutter,

I need motivation, diligence, drive, and Speed.
-------------------------------------
Let me sleep in oblivion.

Memory Lane, by Mcfly

2007-09-10T06:26:00.000-07:00

I really love this song.

It never fails to make me happy after I listen to it; especially the guitar intro.

It reminds me of sunny beaches and holidays, of carefree happiness and sunshine.

Call me preppy or whatnot; but Mcfly's remaining on my favourites list alongside My Chemical Romance, Something Corporate, Simple Plan, Sum 41, Hillsong, and Chopin.

I want to learn the intro! I NEED TIME.

GIVE ME TIME PLEASE. SO I CAN LEARN THE INTRO. 8D

Haha, I sound like an obsessed freak.

That's because I am one; I'm obsessed with the front part of Memory Lane 8)

The ending's a little draggy though. BUT, it's a WONDERFUL song overall.

--------------------------
I CAN'T WAIT TO PASS GRADE 8 THEORY AND PRACTICAL.

Not that I dislike piano; I love it still, actually.

But I want the freedom to randomly come up with impromptu compositions and not have to practise the same pieces and scales all the time.

And I want time on the guitar, of course.
-----------------------------
Anyway, here's a list of facts I found within the deep, dark recesses of my mind:

1) Homework deserves a gazillion deaths if it weren't already dead.

2) Spire deserves to be hanged a million times over.

3) For every piece of extra homework issued, a hundred grams of chocolate is consumed.

4) Gaspard Ulliel is better looking than Zac Efron (However you spell it,).

5) Koh Mingjie will kiss her love if she gets an A for E. Math.

6) M.I. is a death sentence.

7) I don't want to get kicked out of NJ, or be put on academic probation.

8) I probably should be doing my homework now.

9) I've listened to Mcfly's Memory Lane five times already this evening. Mcfly shouldn't read this; they probably already have enough obsessed and mentally unstable fans as it is.

10) Metamorphic Rocks are formed under intense heat and pressure.
-----------------------------
-So much has changed.

Stranger

2007-09-07T09:20:00.000-07:00

For who I am; a stranger, still, to myself.
-------------------------------------
Just realised that this is my forty-first post.

Plato once said that until one turns forty, one is not ready to be a philosopher.

This blog is a philosoph-log. Haha.

Ack. MI is a truly horrible, slow, and painful death.
------------------------------------
If you asked me what I wanted to be, a week ago, I wouldn't have had a specific answer, but at least I had a resolution to work in the scientific field.

Looking at the same question now, however, I suddenly have no idea what I really want.

In from the age of eight, I discovered the addiction of reading.

They told me that being a lawyer required a lot of reading. So I decided that I wanted to become a lawyer.

Then, at eleven, I started becoming interested in science. Hence the scientific-field goal, which lasted until a week ago.

Now, I don't even know what I want to do in life.

We were discussing our goals in life after the lego thing for the little P5 kiddies.

And I realised that most of us live a Routine; and not a Life.

Or is Life a Routine?

We go through ten years of Primary and Secondary education, two years of tertiary education, then another four to six years of university.

By then, we'd have reached our twenties.

Get our degrees, get a job. Promotions, retrenchment.

Then the job cycle repeats.

Halfway through, maybe some would get married. Then children.

After a few more years, the children are working.

Then we die.

So basically, here's a four-word summary of our lives:

Study, graduate, work, die.

This makes us sound like machines doesn't it?

But that's what I gather from what I see of the world.

So I ask myself; what is my goal in Life?

And a sickening mixture of emptiness, fear and apathy stares back at me; for I realise that I don't know what my goal is.
-----------------------------------------------
Just yesterday, I was twelve, and studying for my PSLE.

Now, I suddenly find myself three years ahead.

Time flies, and I'm not so young anymore.

Very soon, I'll be needing to work towards a scholarship for university.

Then I'll need to get my degree.

But I don't even know what I want.
-------------------------------------------
This is Life coming and dousing me with chilling Reality.

Reality doesn't merely hurt.
It Terrifies.

Quiz

2007-08-31T04:33:00.000-07:00

DECEMBER: Loyal and ~~generous. Sexy. Patriotic.~~Active in games and ~~interactions~~. Impatient and hasty. ~~Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize.~~ Loves praises. ~~Loves attention.~~ Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical. (Am I? I think I'll fail MI. Haha; M.I. Am I. 8D)

Hark! My dirty laundry is out!
Might as well tell the rest of it.
I'm selfish, stingy, cowardly and am hugely narcissistic at times. And I expect people around me to have similar attitudes (in terms of seriousness and participation in academic-related work) as me, or I'll start to dislike a person. And I always immediately dislike anyone who makes it a habit to flirt intentionally and blatantly; no chances given.

To sum it up, here's a word to describe me: B-I-T-C-H.

Heh. I'm TRYING not to be one, though.

ANYWAY;
→ Pick your birth month.
→ Strike out anything that doesn’t apply to you.
→ Bold the five-ten that best apply to you.
→ Copy to your own journal, with all twelve months under a lj-cut. (This isn't livejournal, so it's below)
→ Tag 5 people from your friends list

Tagging Joan, Vera, Joey, Me, and Me. (Tagging myself; How sad can I get? Haha. I DO appear on my links twice solo and twice in active collaboration anyway,)

(Credit for this blog's Revival goes to ome for tagging me,)

And Church camp's tomorrow.
--------------------------------
JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves travelling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.
--------------------
(I just realised that is everyone supposedly sexy according to this. Is this world that horny? :/)

CHURCH CAMP; HERE I COME!

Life's A Complete Conundrum

2007-08-16T05:44:00.000-07:00

M.I. today was interesting.

Ironically, retarded old me actually understood enough to be interested in Plato's Cave and its relation to The Matrix.

If our perception is a shadow of reality, and it is our job to uncover objective realism; having to need to percept and sense through the process of uncovering objective realism, won't realism be but a shadow of itself?
--------------------------------
I love this song; it's so sweet!

If My Edward comes along one day and plays and sings it for me on his guitar (He must be able to play the guitar/piano/violin) I will positively swoon!

Or he can play me Clair de Lune on the piano. Or Nocturne in C sharp minor by Chopin.

Or any classical piece on the violin. 8)

Till he comes, I shall wait.

An Apology

2007-08-15T03:42:00.000-07:00

To all who have been on the receiving end of my bitchiness/selfishness/sacarsm/slack attitude/rudeness/whining; I'm really sorry.

I've been really pissed off by several different people these few weeks.

Add in the long list of projects and homework (all of which have deadlines that are horribly close together) and you get a cranky/bitchy/irritating/rude me.
---------------------
E. Math quiz this Friday.

Can't afford to fail math.

I must really do well.

I need to. I must. I can. I will.
---------------------------
A. Math quiz next week.
-------------------------
I need Hope.

Bleah

2007-08-09T06:48:00.000-07:00

Random burst of inspiration. Don't feel like expressing myself in words.
8)

In Retrospect.

2007-07-23T07:15:00.000-07:00

That screenname of the beginning of this year; and how apt it is for me now.

In Retrospect, I'm demoralised.

In Retrospect, it's obviously my fault.

In Retrospect, I haven't been putting in enough effort academically.

It's not that I haven't realised my sloppiness before; but I just couldn't find the strength and determination within me to pull up my socks and work harder.

I hope I can do it this time.

I must do it this time.

Dangit, I WILL do it this time.
------------------------------------
I, the stupidest and laziest slacker of 07IP06, hereby solemnly vow that I will work harder than I did in the past term, and strive to move up a grade for Higher Chinese, and do MUCH better for both mathematics modules.
-----------------------------------
I need to improve on speed techniques.

The reason why I failed my E. Math and did miserably for A. Math was because I didn't complete either in time.

The reason why I failed the Higher Chinese main paper was because I didn't manage to complete the last whole comprehension AND summary passage in time.

And I didn't complete my Chemistry paper in time. Or my Physics paper, for that matter.

I'm really thankful that Mr. Han and Miss Khoo didn't fail me for not completing my essays on time. (They merely penalised the lack of a conclusion,)

As for Biology, MI and Language Arts, I did complete the papers on time, but only barely.

I'm NOT intellectually challenged, dangit. I CAN score better than those pathetic D's, C's, and even B's for certain subjects.

I KNOW I can.

With speed, that is.

How exactly does one train one's speed anyway?

Or am I just retarded (in its literal sense and otherwise,)?
--------------------
:/

In Which This Author Indulges in a Random Bout Of Girlishness

2007-07-10T19:38:00.000-07:00

I've been rather OOC (out of character) lately.

I usually find shopping irritating; having to attempt to stay upright as the crowds trample and bulldoze all around; having to endure the hullabaloo of mixed conversations ringing in my ears; it's quite frustrating, really.

But just yesterday (and on monday) I went window shopping, as well as swimming-costume-shopping, and actually enjoyed myself.

On monday, Joan, Ilyna and I went for lunch (Subway!) at Ang Mo Kio Hub, after which we went window shopping! Yaydeedoodahdaydee! Haha. FUNFUNFUN.

Then yesterday Ilyna and I went to Compasspoint to shop for swimming costumes. (At least; I bought a swimming costume. Ilyna ended up buying her dvd 8))

Haha, I bet everyone who knows me and who's reading this will go: What the..?

I pretty much am in a similar state of shock, realising that I actually enjoyed shopping.

Anyway, as I await eleven forty five, during which my Chariot (or rather, SBS number 74) will sweep me away to school, I shall follow in the footsteps of Shuliet and make a 'things-I-want-to-do-before-I-die' list.

Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
1) Find my Significant Other. I've said it before, and I'll say it again; I am a Hopeless Romantic

2) Travel around Europe.

3) Make a difference in someone's life.

4) Spread the Love. I know I sound like a Hippie, but really; Love is important!

5) Become a Crime Scene Investigator. Or Detective. Or Doctor. Or Scientist.

6) Graduate with Honours. (Highly impossible. But I Dream,)

7) Publish my works. Poetry, prose; it doesn't matter. I admire all authors.

8) Start a band. Not those military or symphonic orchestra bands. An I-play-the-guitar-you-play-the-drums-and-she-sings band. Recorded or no, making music together with people is fun!

9) Get at least a 3.0 GPA by the end of the year, pass Higher Chinese with at least a B for this year and next year, get a good SAT score, do well for my 'A' Levels, and get a scholarship into any university.

10) Help save the earth! Modus Ponens, really.

If P, then Q.
P
-------------------
>Q

P1 If we destroy the earth, then all beings on earth will die.
P2 We destroy the earth
-------------------
> All beings on earth will die.

-----------------------------------
Okay, enough of MI already.

I shall depart to slip on my silver (or gray) ball gown (aka, uniform), as my chariot awaits.

(That's what you'll get from too much of disney fairytales.) 8D

-Dancing bears, Painted wings

One Way, by Hillsong

2007-07-08T00:31:00.000-07:00

I lay my Life down at your feet
Cos you're the only one I need
I turn to you and you are always there

In troubled times it's You I seek
I put You first that's all I need
I humble all I am all to You

One Way
Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for
One Way
Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for

You are always, always there
Every how and everywhere
Your grace abounds so deeply within me

You will never ever change
Yesterday today the same
Forever till forever meets no end

One Way
Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for
One Way
Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for

One Way
Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for
One Way
Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for

You are the Way the Truth and the Life
We live by faith and not by sight for You
We're living all for You

You are the Way the Truth and the Life
We live by faith and not by sight for You
We're living all for You

You are the Way the Truth and the Life
We live by faith and not by sight for You
We're living all for You

You are the Way the Truth and the Life
We live by faith and not by sight for You
We're living all for You

One Way
Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for
One Way
Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for

One Way
Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for
One Way
Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for
---------------------
Attended the Youth Day Rally for confirmants yesterday.

IT WAS SO FUN!

Haha, I loved the band (even though they sand off key once or twice). Because they played ONE WAY.

Seeing the thousands of confirmants around me, jumping and singing during the praise and worship; kneeling and praying during the prayer session--it was powerfully inspiring.

I knew, at that moment, that the Holy Spirit was present within us.

And I know that some people who are reading this aren't Catholic or Christian, but I just want to say that when you feel that no one's there; always know and remember that God Loves You, and will never stop loving you.

It really doesn't matter which faith you believe in actually.

All sincere and true faiths preach goodness and kindness.

And I feel that we all need a little kindness and Love in our lives; and the Catholic and Christan Faith has brought this spark of hope and love into my life; through the Father.

(No offence towards any party intended in the above paragraphs)

Anyway, I SURVIVED OBS!

I SURVIVED FIVE GRUELLING DAYS IN PULAU UBIN (Or Ulu, as it should be aptly named, as compared to mainland Singapore)

We kayaked, trekked; climbed; pitched (tents); sang; battled mosquitoes, ants and sandflies; and emerged victorious, albeit sunburnt, slightly bruised and sandfly-and-mosquito-bitten.

I LOVE MY WATCH!

For squirting toothpaste in place of filling between the sandwich crackers;

For making me laugh with the sick sense (or nonsense) which came up during conversations, and the Lame analogies and jokes;

For being all of you;

I LOVE YOU MP WATCH!
-----------------------
-You're The Only One that I could live for

Warning: The Post Below Is Meant For Female Eyes Only. Males Read At Your Own Risk.

2007-07-01T05:07:00.000-07:00

History was rewritten today as nature started a full-out, literally bloody, war against my body (the peaceful protester).

Bloody Sunday.

HARK, THYSELF'S PERIOD HATH COME :(

AND TOMORROW'S THE START OF OBS.

:(

WHY ON EARTH IS NATURE SO AGAINST ME?!

Ahhhh.

I sit, and wonder why-ie-ie oh why you come now, oh monthlie.

WHY?!

ARRGH. Fine.

I shall turn the seas red then. With Shuliet 8)

*cue pirate's accent* Aye, mayte? Together, we shall conquer the (red) seas! Arr!

Haha.

On the not-so-bloody side, Taylor Swift is GOOD.

Seriously; she belongs in the ranks of Faith Hill, Tim McGraw, Garth Brooks, Leann Rimes and all the other wonderfully-supercalifragilisticexpialidoscious Country singers!

8D
-----------------------
Off to Pulau Ubin tomorrow for a five-day camp with my lovely, flowy, red monthly companion :/

Gah. I hope I manage to survive the five days without dying from blood loss, or drowning, or being kidnapped, or disappearing, or being drugged, then raped, then shipped off to --shire to be sold off as a slave, and traded into a slave market and bought by a sadistic master or mistress who will then torture me by stretching me on a rack until my limbs snap for the fun of it...DIE OVERACTIVE IMAGINATION, DIE!!!

Nononono!

God will send the Holy Spirit to watch over me. 8)

*sings* I will survive, I will survive!

Haha.

I just hope I'll be able to tough it through without whining or acting like a wimp.
---------------------------
Things I'll Miss While I'm At Ubin:
1) FICTIONPRESS. How can I survive without my daily dose of Romance? Ahhh!!!

2) My Piano and Guitar. I NEED to make music! I think I'll end up banging the pots and pans for music halfway through, and singing in the bathrooms and at night from music-deprivation. And probably scare everyone out of their wits in the process...especially at night 8D

3) Chocolate. I'm already so sad and homesick! I need my husband to cheer me up! *Sings* How can I live without you; I want to know. Darling Chocolate!

4) The hygene of home. It's gonna be horrible there. Stupid monthlie.

5) Being able to sing, make random comments, and make weird noises out of the blue. Because I won't know anyone from my camp group, and doing that will make them doubt my sanity (which, come to think of it, is actually non-existent. But oh well,)

Haha, other than that, I don't think I'll miss much. Except maybe the presence of my family members.

It'll be weird to get by five days without hearing my sister singing along to her preppy pop songs in her off-key voice, hearing my mother criticizing the people on the television, and my father upstairs at the computer.

Maybe.

But until I get back, I'll be stuck in the semi-wilderness, separated from Singapore by the Ocean (or rather; the stretch of water between the main Island and Pulau Ubin 8P).

Adios, querida civilization.

Till we meet again on Friday.

Good Riddiance to Assesment Week

2007-06-29T04:55:00.000-07:00

IT HAS COME TO AN END!

THE WEEK OF HORRIBLE TORTURE IN WHICH I RECEIVED DAILY REMINDERS OF MY IMPENDING LOWER-THAN-THE-IQ-OF-A-PEANUT GPA!

And we finally had that class (ten and a half out of all twenty-six of the people went) ice-skating gathering.

Haha, I FELL DOWN. 8)

And I REALLY REALLY dislike people who skate at high speeds and cut into your path on the ice; because everytime that happens, you have to slow down of change direction suddenly to avoid colliding into that person.

Because of that, I nearly fell a dozen times during that one hour and forty minutes in the rink.

Bleah.

Ohwell, I did fall down in the end, after all.

AND SHUWEI LEARNT TO SKATE! 8)

Congrats Mrs Wang Shuwei! (Number 1 or 2; Joan, Shuwei; I'm not sure who's the first wife)

Haha, and Joan realised today that the first four numbers of her handphone number corresponds with that of her husband's!

'Tis FATE, I tell you.

Haha.

Ten Things I learnt today:
1) Joan, Shuliet, and Vera are pro skaters.

2)Hongyew, Runfeng, Taiwan and Zizhao can all skate really well; even though they said they can't skate

3)Tricia and I are relatively okay skaters (ALL THE WAY PARTNER!)

4) (Even though this isn't something I learnt) Shuwei learnt to skate! Haha, I'm so proud of her 8D

5) Romance is in abundance on ice. (Stairway to Heaven; Full House. This is also a real life method of courting used today, apparently. Haha 8P)

6) Figure skaters have slender figures (pun unintended. But they do! Even if some of them have bulky thighs, their figures are still slender!)

7) I want to learn to figure skate.

8) ASSESMENT WEEK IS OVER!

9) NO MORE MUGGING AND MEMORISING!

10) The "Falling-in-love-with-your-best-friend" Cliche is sweetly sad. It gives me the heartache feeling whenever I read a story with the main character caught up in this cliche. Especially if the best friend is already supposedly liking someone else.

Taylor Swift's Teardrops On My Guitar says it all.

I LOVE THE LYRICS.

Teardrops On My Guitar, by Taylor Swift
Drew looks at me,
I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be

I'll be she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me,
I laugh cause it's so damn funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me

He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me,
Can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough for me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.
------------------------------------
Sweetly sad heartache, as I said.

It's my favourite type of cliched romance. But only when the best friend ends up with the main character in the end. 8)

I did declare my addiction to Romances, didn't I?

Someone. Help.

2007-06-23T05:45:00.000-07:00

I'm supposed to be studying, needless to say.

Surrounded by mountains of notes, files, textbooks and whatnot.

But I'm not.

I haven't even started studying I.H. yet.

Dang it all.

I'm sick and tired of this studying, but I want my 3-point-something GPA.

Arrgh.

I sound like a cross between a brainless bimbo and spoilt brat, don't I?

I'm a bl*&^% slacker.
---------------------
They're all so fake.

After seeing how this whole system works, instead of strengthening my faith, it made me realise how much I don't want to be like that; and now my faith is staring to falter.

I don't want to become like that; but I want to believe.

Must I become like that, once I've made my decision?

Will I become like that, once it's all said and done?

Someone, help me believe.

I don't know if it's entirely because of this that my faith's starting to crumble, but the friendships have become strained, and this looks like a farce to me; and now I'm not so sure.

Bring me back, please.

I want to return to where I was before.

I want to believe again.
-------------------
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

-Snow Patrol, Run
--------------------
I feel so sad.

Someone, make me happy please.

Your Heartstrings Cut My Fingers

2007-06-19T01:28:00.000-07:00

I kept your heart safely in my hands
Away from danger
I thought we were
I thought we could
I thought we would be
Together, Always
But
In the end
My fingers were bleeding
Because your heartstrings cut my fingers

You watched me cry and wiped my tears; you made me smile
My Protector; My Guardian Angel
You picked me up
You raised me high
You promised me
Forever, Always
But then
This Fairytale
Wasn’t meant to be
And your heartstrings (they) cut my fingers

The people said we couldn’t be and yet I still believed in
This happy ending
I never knew
It’d hurt this much
Watching you battle
The chemo
No more words are needed now
Because I know you never meant
For your heartstrings to cut my fingers
---------------------

I'll Carry On

2007-06-17T23:01:00.000-07:00

I want that 3-point-something GPA.

I need that 3-point-something GPA.

I will get that 3-point-something GPA, even if I die studying in the process.

I'm not even asking for a 4.0, or even a 3.5.

I just want to make it through this year, and remain in NJ to see the year 2008, AND the years to come.

I f***ing want that 3-point-something GPA.

You can try
You'll never break me

It's Me Against The World now, darlings.

Methinks that I have found "Tall, Dark and Handsome"

2007-06-12T06:58:00.000-07:00

Aka; THE EDWARD CULLEN. In the form of Kim Sung Soo (Full House), and Daniel Henney (My Lovely Kim Sam-Soon).

Seriously. They look alike.

Except that Henney has larger eyes.

Then again, Kim Sung Soo is full-blooded asian(unless I'm mistaken), whereas Daniel Henney is semi-Caucasian.

Haha. I know that the fact that this post coming after my extremely, blatantly emo post makes it seems as though I have morphed into a Bouncy, Bountifully-Busty Bimbo overnight.

Honestly, I seem to have almost made it for the Brains requirement.

I've just missed The Bimbotic Intelligence Quotient by one point.

ONE MORE POINT TO LOSE!

*cue ditzy voice* IT'S ALRIGHT, IT'S OKAY, I'M AS STUPID ANYWAY!

OH, OH! LIKE, WAVE THE POM-POMS!!!

(Sweet Sarcasm; great to have back 8))

Unfortunately, I'm still lacking in the looks section.

But that's alright; it's the character that counts.

My Edward will love me regardless of my looks.

OH HOW I HATE THE BOOKS. (Stupid smarty-pantii who keep studying. DEATH T'ALL YOU MUGGERS! ARRGH!)

Haha, random line to rhyme. (Looks, Books)

HEY, THAT JUST RHYMED AS WELL! (Line, Rhyme!)

Oh well.

*cue Snow White Falsetto*Some day my prince will comeeee

Haha, must be too much of disney 8)

Okie.

Off!

An Eradicated Past

2007-06-02T05:34:00.000-07:00

A new beginning.

I threw away everything in my memory boxes today.

Yeah.

Kidding. I'm too weak to do that.

I just threw away 90% of everything in them.

Looking over the items, I wanted to cry and laugh sardonically at the same time; because suddenly I realise that it's all so fake now.

The Friendships; for what they are now.

And no one's willing to share the memories anymore, it seems. Everyone's moving their own separate way.

So I've decided to throw away 90% of whatever's reminiscent of my past and move on.

As the case in Harmonized's Honourshill (Fictionpress. Go read.); Goodbye, old me.

I'm moving on.
---------------------------
Throw away the memories
Cos no one wants them anymore
Let's just walk along in Life
Our separate Paths.
--------------------------------

GREASE <3

2007-05-23T06:39:00.000-07:00

Today was our Integrated Humanities Project Presentation/Exhibition. On the social revolution of the 1960s.

We were playing 1960s songs, and all of a sudden, I had this urge to dance 1960s-style.

Which led to this STRONG, SUDDEN craving to watch GREASE (the movie starring John Travolta and Olivia Newton John) again.

I still remember watching it again and again in kindergarten and primary school; they used to play it on Channel 5 every year.

I MISS GREASE! WHY DON'T THEY PLAY IT ANYMORE?!

" I sit and wonder why-y-y-y, oh why, you left me, oh Sandy,"

JOHN TRAVOLTA CAN SING MAN.

AND OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN LOOKS SO PRETTY AND SLIM IN GREASE!!!

AHHHHH!!!

I WANNA WATCH GREASE AGAIN!!!

I LOVE THE SONGS AND FASHION OF THE 60s!!!

GREASE MANIA! 8D

Best in Me, by Blue

2007-05-20T07:03:00.000-07:00

(!!! A pop song is stuck in my head! POP. Argghhh!!!! Ohman, my head's gonna POP with all this POP,)
From the moment I met you I just knew you'd be mine
You touched my hand
And I knew that this was gonna be our time

I don't ever wanna lose this feeling
I don't wanna spend a moment apart

'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you

Every day that I'm here with you
I know that it feels right
And I've just got to be near you every day and every night

And you know that we belong together
It just had to be you and me

'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you

And you know that we belong together,
It just had to be you and me'

Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side
'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you
'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you
---------------------------------
Ahhh!! But the lyrics are sweet!

(Yeah, I know it's an ancient song,)

AND THE POPPISH MELODY'S STUCK IN MY HEAD! ARGGH.

Ohwell, at least it's not as bouncy-ish as Hilary Duff's Sweet Sixteen.

Or Paris Hilton's Nothing In This World.

AHHH!!! DON'T COME BACK YOU PREPPY MELODIES!

GO AWAY!!!!

Erm. [To those who get offended by non-G-rated language: DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING PART OF THIS POST.]

(Thinks desperately of more self-characteristic songs) MCR! I'm NOT OKAY. I'm not okay; cos I'm not okay; I'm not O-f**kin-KAY!

THINK OF VULGARITIES!

*#&%!

^%&^*$*#%^&*@!

Haha 8)

A dose of MCR a day keeps the preppy melodies away!

(Apologies if I've offended anyone. I've warned you already. And anyway, eighty per-cent of the non-G bit is censored. And I'm not criticizing any genre of music, or music by anyone. I'm just saying that Pop music and I don't really mix. We're like oil and water. Or spongebob squarepants and Audrey Hepburn.)

-And that's why I love you

Homework

2007-05-14T06:51:00.000-07:00

See the pretty patterns
Spidery scrawls upon the blank sheet
Black and white constrast starkly
And slowly merge into one
Only to initiate an onslaught of aggression
Engulfing me within untamed swirls
Fighting my awareness

And I don't know what's going on anymore.
--------------------------
That's my homework I'm talking about, in case you haven't already figured it out.

A. Math and Humanities. Bleah.

I'm getting slight headaches.

On the brighter side, my mum bought me a black handphone pouch today.

Only, it has a picture of Mickey Mouse on it.

Yep.

MICKEY MOUSE.

I almost died.

My mother thinks I like MICKEY MOUSE.

Okay..

Oh well. It's the thought that counts, after all.

So I've decided to use it as my wallet 8)

(Meanwhile, I'll find a way to deface the picture of Mickey, or at least convert it to a more me-like something,)

-Headaches still rampant

The Wremo Circle

2007-05-13T01:42:00.000-07:00

Wremo; as in Writer-emo 8)

Yup.

It's a collaboration between Belle, Vera and I.

Our emo ramblings, to be more precise.

8)

Anyway, still have my Language Arts summary to do.

Bleah.

DIE!

(Oh! By the way, I REALISED TODAY THAT THE F-WORD ISN'T IN MY HANDPHONE DICTIONARY! Haha 8D)

-Emotionally Unstable

Hoards And Hoards of Homework

2007-05-11T00:55:00.000-07:00

All happily waiting for me to complete them.

Gah.

Shan't be blatantly emo henceforth 8D
-----------------------------------
What would you say
If I told you that I'm dying
Would you even realise
That I'll be gone forever?

What would you do
If I died before tomorrow comes
Would you even remember
The ghost of me?
------------------------------------
Ahhhh! Yay! WE'LL BE WRITING POEMS NEXT TERM FOR LANGUAGE ARTS!

WHOOPIE-DOO-DA-DAY-DEE!!!

And didn't I hear Miss Khoo say that we're gonna be writing stories next year?

Stories=Fiction=Creative Writing

HALLELJUIAH!

Meanwhile, homework awaits.

Till then;

'Dios!

Apathy

2007-05-06T00:04:00.000-07:00

That's the opposite of Love.

Not Hate.

But Apathy. Indifference.

Because if you hate someone, you still care enough to hate.

And if you don't care, you won't bother to feel anything at all.

We've been talking about this during the past few cat classes(equivalent to sunday school).

And I'm starting to get numb, because that's how I feel sometimes.
-----------------
Love is all about taking risks.

It's putting yourself in a vulnerable position.

You don't know when the other person will lash out against you.

Whether it's love within a friendship, within a parent-child relationship, or within a romantically-based relationship; you risk getting hurt.

I used to think that I would only involve myself in friendships and parent-child relationships, because I'll still need a parent no matter what, and I don't think I could ever survive without friends.

But after talking about the risk of getting hurt in all types of relationships, I'm starting to wonder if I should actually stop opening myself up to more friends, and closing myself from some.

I don't want to get hurt.
Heck, I'm SCARED of getting hurt.

It's been twice now that I've experienced hurt from drifting away from close friends.

And I don't want to get hurt all over again.

"Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all,"

But I digress.

Better to have never loved, and to never have gotten hurt, than to love and lost, and to suffer from heartbreak.

But I know the one person I'll keep loving, for he has, is, and will always love me no matter what.

He who lives in the holy trinity; My Lord and my God.

And I'll find a way to live, because you love me.

In Which I Blurt Random Emotions

2007-04-30T07:04:00.000-07:00

Well, it's mostly frustration mixed with hysteria, with a pinch of retrospect, and a dash of fatigue. And a teeny-weeny sprinkling of excitement.

Frustration and hysteria because of the reasons below:
1)Physics Log (4)
2)Physics Log (5)
3)E. Math Circle Geometry Homework
4)I.H. preparation of GRADED ESSAY
5)Language Arts Project (20%) AND Critical Analysis (Also graded)
6)I'm exceptionally SLOW in processing my thoughts during both E and A Math lessons, which means I'll get kicked out of acc math soon.

Retrospect because of the fact that old friends seem to drift further and further apart.
It almost makes me want to stop making friends; the drifting apart hurts more than a broken romance. But thinking back, I don't think I'll be able to live without a friend to bear with my nonsensical rambling and fluctuating moodswings.

Fatigue because I'm tired of everything.
Homework, assignments, tests, competition, hypocrisy. But that's Life.
And so I have to forge my way on.

Excitement because IT'S LABOUR DAY TOMORROW, AND TRAINING'S BEEN CANCELLED=MORE TIME TO FINISH MY HOMEWORK=I CAN SLACK NOW!

Haha, okay. As you can tell, I am whoopsie-doopsie-daisy-doo right now. Shuhui must be rubbing off me. SPASTIC-NESS. Haha.

(This author has currently lapsed into insanity and will not be back for some time.

Over and Out.)

Virginia Tech

2007-04-18T06:14:00.000-07:00

It's all over the news.

Somehow, the media attention makes it all seem so superficial.

It always makes things seem that way.

Cold. Bustling. Factual.

Maybe I'm too emotional.

But I do know that that's the way of Society. No strings attached.

And yet I can't bear to dash my romantic fantasy that this world holds consideration for humanly emotions; and that fairytale, never-ending relationships exist.

In this Society, no friendship is genuine and warm.

It is merely the ones with innocence and naivety left in them who forge genuine friendships, be it one-sided or otherwise.

There are some who have already lost their innocence and naivety. They backstab, curry favour, and take advantage.

And so I live Life, hoping, wishing, trusting, that friends remain friends, and that they do not morph into feelingless beings from which Society leeches innocence and naivety.
-------------------------------------

The Three Types of People I can't stand

2007-04-18T05:35:00.000-07:00

1) People who are irresponsible, yet ultimately assume major leadership positions
2) People who think that they are popular (with both genders). EGOTISTICAL PRATS.
3) People who assume that they can get away with putting in minimal effort/no effort when doing a group project.

And have I mentioned how I detest people who are UTTERLY FAKE?

Oh. And not forgetting those with ABSOLUTELY NO ORIGINALITY.

Seriously. It gets irritating when you DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING IN RELATION to someone, yet the person just keeps coming up with means to carbon copy an aspect of your individuality.
---------------------------------------------------
I'm getting so confused nowadays. I don't know who I am. I don't understand what I'm trying to feel. Or what I'm feeling.
All I know is that I have colossal amounts of homework, projects, and assignments due. And I have to keep working, or I won't be able to get it all done in time. And then I see those people around me; those who are consistently on their toes, concientiously studying, revising, mugging. And those who don't put in effort in completeing their work, those who aren't attentive in class.

Two completely different attitudes. Yet both ace their graded assignments and tests.

And here I am, unmotivated most of the part, to study or work to the best of my abilities.

For one, I can recognize this feeling: Deflation. Disillusion. Disenchantment.

I used to think that maybe I'd get a sudden inspiration to work suddenly, at full speed, until the June holidays, at least. Then I'd get a chance to pull up my miserable GPA.

As I said: Deflation. Disillusion. Disenchantment.

If only I could return back to childhood's naivety. Things would be so simple then.
--------------------------------------------
Return me that childhood naivete, please.

More Than Words

2007-04-15T03:39:00.000-07:00

More than words
Is all you have to do
To make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say
That you love me
'causeI'd already know

So sings Xtreme.

And so I sing, too.

Only, I sing (to the same tune):

More than words
Is what I want to do
To kill you all
Just to chop your *toot* to pieces
All you *toot**toot*
Cos I am really pissed.

ARGGH. STUPID IRRITATING PRICKS.
I'm already Bloody stressed with the LA comprehension, LA analysis-essay test, MI worksheet, A. Math homework, A. Math test. And I still have to make sure that everyone brings their video/multimedia/final product of the cultural mapping thing. Not to mention the NE photography competition. And I still have to do some netball stuff. GAH.

And now, THESE TWO GROUPS OF PEOPLE come along and PISS THE BLOODY *TOOT* OFF ME. (Please don't mind my vulgarity. I am trying to make this as PG13 as I possibly can)
---------------------------
Okay. BREATHE.

One. Hydrogen.

STUPID.

Two.Helium.

IRRITATING.

Three. Lithium.

ASANINE.

Four. Berilium.

COMPLACENT.

Five. BORON!

MORONS!
--------------------
Hah! That felt good.

Okay, not so pissed now.

Shall attempt to do my literary analysis essay.

'Dios

Watching you

2007-04-11T06:09:00.000-07:00

Watching you I stand
Silently
By your side a shadow
I am and always'll be
And when you shed your tears
I stood by
But when it all turned right
You turned away

What am I?
Just what am I to you?
Who am I?
Who am I to you?

Sometimes I wake up late at night
Wondering
If it ever happened between
You and I
Now our friendship seems to me
A mere memory
And I am left alone to think of
All those Used-to-be's.

What am I?
Just what am I to you?
Who am I?
Who am I to you?
------------------
© Copyright 2007. Rachel. All rights reserved. Distribution of any kind is prohibited without the written consent of Rachel.

Not done yet, still have one or two more verses to go. The chorus sounds a tad bit like MCR's I'm Not Okay though...or maybe that's because of the long notes used.

Bleah. I'm not doing bio.

How on EARTH are you supposed to even crap an answer given these questions, anyway?
Gah. Shall do it tomorrow. Going to revise a little E. Math now.

Okie.

Off.

'Dios.

NJC IP Preview

2007-04-07T00:29:00.000-07:00

Sick of all your typical, boring classes that just threaten to drive you nuts? Tired of being treated like kids?

Well, don't fret! The National Junior College Integrated Programme is here!

Calling out to all Secondary Two students in Singapore!

NJC's very own Integrated Programme is having its 5th annual IP Preview on the 21st April 2007, from 9am-3pm.

Check out what the pioneer batch of Integrated Programme students in Singapore have accomplished and see for yourself what boundaries you can explore! NJC IP provides a customised and ability-driven programme for students to achieve their maximum potential along with countless learning opportunities for refreshing, creative and fun experiences in a vibrant environment.

Instead of your usual monotonous spoon-fed lessons, come and experience for yourself our interesting, specially-tailored modules featuring fiery in-class debates, unique lectures and eye-opening tutorials. Not to forget, our diverse spectrum of CCAs won't let you down, adding to the well-rounded education that NJC IP offers you.

That, you will never experience elsewhere!

So come join us on the 21st April 2007 at National Junior College (see map below for details) for a fun-filled journey into your future!

For more information, log on to http://njc.edu.sg/
------------------

GEN IP
We lead the way.
---------------
Buses:
SBS: 66, 74, 151, 154, 156, 157,
170, 174
TIBS: 67, 171, 852, 961
Others: 540, 645
Nearest MRT: Newton
------------------------------------

Oh, the JOY

2007-03-31T07:05:00.000-07:00

First, I get stressed over my Math and Chinese results and my overall GPA, then I struggle with my Math homework (I'm only halfway done now.)

And now, I am (apparently, according to my mum,) a failure.

Her definition of a Failure: Someone who sleeps late and wakes up not looking like the Energizer Battery Mascot Rabbit.

Bravo. I feel SO motivated.

Rachel the Failure.

Right.

Chinese Tuition

2007-03-23T07:56:00.000-07:00

Doesn't seem to be working much for me.

I've been failing chinese with considerably WORSE marks, ever since I started chinese tuition with a different tutor this year, as compared to last year where I didn't fail as badly.

Don't you think that MAYBE I'll get better grades if I didn't have chinese tuition, and used that TWO HOURS every week to complete my homework and to study? I'd have more time to do personal studying during the week instead of trying to complete my tuition homework too.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hate you for being the useless, unproductive piece of scum you are. I hate you for your oversized ego and pride. I hate you for your your falsness and pretense. I hate you for claiming that I don't eat just because you don't see me eating. I hate you for suddenly 'caring' about my life just because it boosts your reputation that I managed to get into the IP. I don't care if you read this. In fact, I hope you do. Because I lack the courage to spit all this in your face. And I hate myself for it, too.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LA. Similie: Homework is an abscess.
MI.Equivocation: Homework is a bloody abscess.
A. Math: reflection logbase10 horrible=logebase10 horrible^reflection
Chinese: Hope and reality are two different things. Hope: Study->Pass Chinese. Reality: Study->Fail Chinese.

This has proven the fact that I pay attention during lessons.

Torn, by Natalie Imbruglia

2007-03-17T22:33:00.000-07:00

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry

Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know, don't seem to care what your heart is for
But I don't know him anymore
There's nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's whats going on, nothing's fine I'm torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn

So I guess the fortune teller's right
Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
To crawl beneath my veins and now
I don't care, I have no luck,
I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things that I can't touch, I'm torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn.
Torn.

There's nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on, nothings right, I'm torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I'm ashamed bound and broken on the floor
You're a little late, I'm already torn.
---------------------------------------------------

-This Twisted Fairytale called Life

Aiyee!

2007-03-09T07:15:00.000-08:00

I'm leaving for KL tomorrow..and I'm starting to get Homesick already.

I keep getting paranoid about getting kidnapped or killed there.

Haha.

Okay. Supposed to go off five minutes ago.

BYE.

-Counting the days till I return

Okay.

2007-03-03T03:21:00.000-08:00

Maybe I've not exactly achieved a GPA of 4.0 and above yet (and never will in a million years), BUT since Belle and Shuhui and Joan and many other people were saying that my blog was dead (belle was laughing at the title of my previous post), I HAVE COME TO REVIVE THIS OL' BLOG OF MINE.

Haha.

BUT.

FIRSTLY.

I, RACHEL, HEREBY SOLEMNLY PLEDGE THAT I WILL STUDY FOR THE BIOLOGY TEST PROPERLY, WITHSTANDING ANY TEMPTATIONS OF CHOCOLATE, POTATO CHIPS, OR FICTIONPRESS ROMANCES AFTER I BATHE LATER TONIGHT.

There. Done.

Haha. Seriously though. I think I'll put on 2kg by the end of this week. I've been munching on snacks impulsively this few days, and there's not been any training since last monday.

Kind of a reflex of stress? Haha.

*takes bio notes out and sits at the table*
Me: WAIT. SOMETHING'S MISSING.
*runs to the refridgerator and rummages through it*
Me: TADA.
*returns to notes triumphantly with a bar of chocolate and a cup of fresh milk*
Me: Mono*munch* sacchariades*munch*...mmm, WAIT. WHERE DID MY CHOCOLATE BAR DISAPPEAR TO?!
My Mother: Huh? Weren't you eating at a second ago?
My sister: YOU JUST ATE IT UP, YOU GOONDO!

Haha 8D

Okay. I'M BL***Y STRESSED, I TELL YOU.

EVERYONE'S MUGGING NOW. AND HERE I AM BLOGGING AND READING FICTIONPRESS ROMANCES. I'VE TRIED TO STUDY BIO, BUT ONLY 40% HAS SUCCEEDED IN PENETRATING MY THICK SKULL SO FAR. MI IS ALSO ONLY ABOUT 70% DONE :/

I NEED TO UPGRADE MY RAM. MINE'S ONLY 128MB! I NEED 1GB!

IF I DON'T GET A 1GB RAM, HOW AM I GOING TO PASS THE TESTS? DIE, SHORTTERM-MEMORY LOSS!!!!!

Haha. EXAM-INDUCED LUNACY!!!!!!

Okay. Done typing in caps.

You all can rest your eyes now. 8)

Someone save me from this utter retardation!

I can't study right :/

This'd probably be my last post until I'm stable and chugging along with a GPA of 4.0 and above (which is most likely a century later)

2007-01-05T05:57:00.000-08:00

PHEW.

That was one LONG title.

Haha

Okay.

Firstly, note the title.

8)

The GPA system really stresses me out.

But I shall bravely take in my stride.

Anyway, (MOOD SWING ALERT)

I shall henceforth retire from seriously writing poetry and prose (seriously meaning; keeping a portfolio of my works)

I want to CRY.

My computer crashed on NEW YEAR'S EVE.

And SURPRISE!

'POOF!' Went my computer.

'POOF!' Went all my work.

'POOF!' Went my heart, my soul, my joy, my pride, my faith, and my EVERYTHING.

Though I do actually probably have a hard copy of my previous works stuffed somewhere in my file, those copies are the raw, unedited and refelction-less ones.

I'm too lazy and heartbroken to re-edit them and type them back anyway.

Besides, it isn't the same to re-edit an edited piece which you lost.

It just isn't.

(Oh man, I sound like I'm recounting my broken marriage with writing or something.)

I shall stick to writing-when-inspired type of writing from now on.
------------------------------
My mum wants me to join DANCE.

Can you actually imagine that?

Okay, scratch that.

That was a SCARRING image.

Cough, cough. Splutter, splutter. Vomit, vomit. BELCH.

I shall embarrass myself in the auditions.

Oh wait.

Since I'll do so badly, they'll reject me, then I'm free to tryout for some other not-so-out-of-character CCAs.

Yay!

Cheers to me!
------------------
And EVERYONE PULL ADRIANA'S HAIR AND CAUSE SADISTIC HARM TO HER.

(POKING IS ALSO ENCOURAGED)

OR SHE'LL START PULLING YOUR HAIR, CALING YOU LOSER, AND PLOTTING EVIL, DEVIOUS PLOTS WHICH ENDANGER YOU.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

2006-12-25T04:53:00.000-08:00

And Happy Birthday to Shuwei :))
------------------------
Only six more days of 2006 left.

Six days.

[Rather cliched, but..]

To think that this year's ending already..It Felt Like Yesterday that I was just moaning about how far away Christmas seemed, and dueting Christmas carols in the middle of July with Jiamin during Mrs. Seah's lessons..

*Sigh*
-------------------------
GOTHS, EMOS, AND VAMPIRES ROCK.

They do. And so does the colour black.

8)
----------------------------
YAY! BELLE'S JOINING GUITAR ENSEMBLE WITH ME NEXT YEAR!!! :)

Thanks Belle!

By the way, does anyone play the drums?

I wanna start a rock band!!!

-Throw away the memories

I WANT A BASS GUITAR!!!!

2006-12-15T00:15:00.000-08:00

AIYEEE!!!!

I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT ONE!!!

Even though I don't know how to play it. Yet.

But as soon as I get one, I'LL LEARN TO PLAY IT!!!

:)))))))))))))))))

Haha.

Thanks genin for the bass guitar book! :))

Haha, and belle, I know you're quite '...-ish' about my lameness.

That's because I'm BORED!!!

ALALALA!!!

8)

I never did really like pop music, but Mcfly is nice!

Listen to obviously and memory lane!

Nice!

And MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE AND SIMPLE PLAN ARE NICE OKAY!!!

Haha.

No good female rock bands at the moment though :((

The only two good singers so far are Avril Lavigne and Amy Lee (from Evanescence)

*Sigh*

This world is so male chauvanistic.

Though, on the brighter side, the winner of the Rock Star Supernova is Female!!

That is, unless I'm mistaken.

YAY!!!

I saw her on the ellen d. show the other day.

And she can SING. VERY well.

:)))

LALA.

I WANNA BE AN EMO-PUNK-GOTH!!!

Haha.

Random 8)

Anyway, off to play MAPLE now!

~'Dios!

GMD 8P

2006-12-07T20:06:00.000-08:00

GMD.

Not GOONG MADNESS DISEASE, but GREAT MOTHERS' DEBATE.

Haha.

As you can tell, I'm suffering from utter-boredom-which-morphed-into-lameness.

U.B.W.M.I.L.

8)))

Yup.

Followed my mother to school to send my sis off for a field trip.

Consequently, I was brought along into the canteen for their debate on how the school's (SN's) standard is dropping (obviously true) and the factors and solutions of the problem.

Why aren't we(SN primary) performing as we used to three mere years ago?

Complacent, are we?

Not that I look down on neigbourhood schools, but they beat us in standard of the PSLE results now--where we used to beat them by a reasonble margin just a few years ago.

Really, I don't look down on the students and teachers in neighbourhood schools. Quite the opposite, in fact. I respect and look up to them for their bombastic results. ( 270 and above!!!)

Then again, the batch(es) which graduated a few years back were the last few which our Mrs. Hwang saw through the Primary four streaming examinations.

I wonder why the minister of education decided to eliminate the streaming examinations when , clearly, it acts as a foundation for the primary education of students?

And 'teach less, learn more'?

Aren't the primary students a little too young to be able to do self-research and self-learning?

Oh well.

Can't really change the education system now unless I'm one of the higher-standing officials in the Ministry of Education.

Oh yeah.

And I bought my Mathematics textbook today!

YAY!

Haha.

I've gone MAD. I know.

:)))

Adios!

Irritating

2006-12-04T03:11:00.000-08:00

Went to Heartland Mall for lunch today.

While we were eating, a charity-fund-raising-person came up to us and started to ask if we wanted to donate.

After my mother declined politely, the person still insisted on explaining to us the background of the fund-raising programme.

Then she declined again.

And the person kept speaking.

It really beats me how someone can not understand the meaning of the words 'No thank you'.

Even if that person claims that he is merely carrying out responsibilities as a volunteer worker, he should not pester members of the public if they decline donating.

That's crossing the d**n line and invading our privacies.

Bleah.

Irritating.

:(

2006-12-01T19:37:00.000-08:00

I feel bad.

Asked sam if we could try out archery on monday, then she said yes.

But couldn't make it the next day because it was to sudden.

Then she asked again.

But now I can't go at all because I'M GROUNDED.

:((((

And no one's replied :((

I think she's angry at me. I would be too.

And now my mum's pms-ing.

~Depressed

Cancer, by My Chemical Romance

2006-11-28T21:12:00.000-08:00

Turn away
If you could get me a drink
Of water cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my aunt marie
Help her gather all my things
And bury me In all my favorite colors,
My sisters and my brothers, still,
I will not kiss you,
Cause the hardest part of this,
Is leaving you.

Now turn away,
Cause I'm awful just to see
Cause all my hair's abandoned all my body,
All my agony,
Know that I will never marry,
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo,
But counting down the days to go.
It just ain't living
And I just hope you know,
That if you say,
Good-bye today,
I'd ask you to be true,
Cause the hardest part of this, Is leaving you.
Cause the hardest part of this, Is leaving you.
---------------------------------------
THIS IS THE SADDEST SONG I'VE EVER HEARD!!!
BUT IT'S SO TOUCHING!!!

IMAGINE LISTENING TO IT WHILE READING A LURLENE MACDANIEL BOOK!!

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!

Haha :))

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE ROCKS!!!
YAY!!!

Welcome to the Black Parade is nice too!!!
And so is I'm Not Okay!

GO LISTEN EVERYONE!!!
8)

Yay!! DECEMBER IS COMING!!!
Twelve more days!!! :P

-Your memory will carry on,

GWS: Goong Withdrawal Syndrome

2006-11-23T20:25:00.000-08:00

AIYEEE!!!

Thyself art suffering from Goong Withdrawal Syndrome(more commonly referred to as GWS).

Shin Goon!!!
Chaegyung!!!

GONE?!

NOOOOO!!!
--------------------
Haha, anyway...

DISNEY rocks!!!

YAY!!!

I LIKE THE BELLE AND THE BEAST AND ANASTASIA AND DIMITRI!!!

AND I THINK SNOW WHITE SHOULD STOP SINGING!!!

HER PRINCE WILL NOT COME EVEN FOR A MILLION CENTURIES IF SHE KEEPS ON SINGING LIKE THAT!!!

AND THE BLUE AND PINK FAIRIES IN SLEEPING BEAUTY ARE SO ADORABLE!!! ESPECIALLY DURING THE DRESS-MAKING PART!!!

AND THE GENIE FROM ALADDIN IS FUNNY AS WELL!!!

DISNEY!!!

CHEERS!!!

Aidieu

2006-11-20T02:49:00.000-08:00

Apparently blogger beta isn't post-able on my computer :(

So I had to delete my other blog.

OH FAITHFUL BLOG, WHY DID THOU HAVE TO DIE?!

WHY, OH WHY?!!

It'd been with me since 2004...

*sniffs*

Oh well...

GOONG!!!

SWEET MERCIFUL CHOCOLATES!!!

Oh man!!! LAST TWO EPISODES LEFT!!!

Haha, I know many people who're sick of it, but here goes;

SHIN AND CHAEGYUNG TILL ETERNITY!!!

MIN-HYORIN AND YUL CAN BOTH FLEE TO TIMBUCKTU!!!

(How'd ya spell that anyway?)

Haha.

Okie.